Therapy Handouts

We are born with nine different temperament traits. They range from low to high as in lower activity to high activity.

 

There are no bad temperament traits they are what they are and each person needs to be aware of their temperament traits and learn how to contend with them effectively as well as recognize other people's temperament traits and learn how to appreciate and accommodate one another's temperament traits.

 

This is particularly important regarding significant other relationships and parenting. Below is a link to a video on YouTube on parenting and temperament which is critical information when it comes to parenting. I will have a video about temperament and the work I do with couples and parenting on my website soon.

 

Temperament comprises half of our personality.

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Deep breathing is the most immediate and effective coping skills for contending with anxiety, stress, and anger that I know of.  Anxiety, stress and anger, all trigger the sympathetic nervous system to varying degrees, and deep breathing helps reduce rapid heartbeat which intern help settle the rest of our system so that we can go back to homeostasis as soon as possible.  The problem for a lot of people with deep breathing is that they do it wrong.  Most of my patients tend to come closer to hyperventilating than actually deep breathing, which is why having the proper rhythm is so important.  this handout goes into great detail about variety of types of deep breathing techniques and supplemental techniques.  once my patience practice breathing properly it makes a huge difference for them and their ability to be able to

contend with their anxiety effectively.

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The anxiety thought pattern form is a very simple yet incredibly effective tool to help people process their experiences when their anxiety gets triggered; I am also including the protocol for this form that I share with patient so they don't forget how to use it properly.  As a clinician, one needs to request 5 to 8 examples so that patterns and themes can announce themselves readily and organically.  How people think and react emotionally to their circumstances is a major key because both of those drive behavior.  Usually patients will exhibit self-doubt or catastrophic thinking in the thought column and these need to be examined in detail.  Helping patients exam and challenge their errant or habitualized thinking gives them the best chance to learn how to wrestle with themselves in meaningful ways.  Looking at the outcome of a patient’s compulsive behavior helps them see how counterproductive feeding into the anxiety actually is.  Lastly, one studies the level of satisfaction a patient has with their process and outcome which typically generates very meaningful conversation, although I have found, I need to often provide supplemental insight and positivity in terms of how

everything played out.

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We have 2 main skills in life, communication and problem-solving, which one is more important?  I don't know, all I know is they are both incredibly important and most of the time tied together.  The beauty of communication skills is that there are straight forward do's and don'ts, and if you if practice the do's, you can have a real conversation, but if you practice the don'ts, there will be ongoing problems. On this handout are 13 of the most fundamental communication skills.​ 

 

​Click on the above text to download the handout for free.

ADHD is a fascinating diagnosis in that it is the most variable diagnosis that I am aware of; in my opinion, anxiety and depression are very straightforward and their origins and manifestations, while ADHD differs quite a bit from person to person, especially if there is a comorbid diagnosis.  Some people believe that ADHD social construct, meaning that it is a reflection of the disconnect between human beings being designed to live in the natural world but having to live in very large and complicated societies.  In my work, I tie ADHD symptoms to temperament traits in order to help people see them as innate, variable, and helpful/ problematic, so that they can have a more holistic sense of their condition and how to approach it in a healthier way.  ADHD is much more challenging for young people since they lack the cognitive abilities and agency of adulthood, for a lot of children informed parenting and medication provide the best interventions in general, based on my work with hundreds of families.

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The Couples Inventory can be used in a wide variety of ways to help people gain greater insight into their relationship dynamics, strengths and challenges to work on.  This form covers the eight main characteristics of a long-term relationship: money, parenthood, household, intimacy, communication, personhood, family and healthy lifestyle.  Each person scales where they see the relationship at, and then can scale themselves and their partners individually in terms of where they see each person is at in terms of their contributions to that category.  There are additional ways of using the form that I've outlined in the companion handout Using the Couples Inventory.  

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Click here to download my book for free.

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Value starts to develop in earnest around age 12 when the human frontal lobe becomes activated in a more conscious manner. 

 

Healthy values provide a moral compass and help people be fair and reasonable in their personal and professional interactions, as well as allowing oneself to feel good about oneself as a person.  What's good for me versus what's good for others is a constant issue for human beings and morals help guide this ongoing dilemma and meaningful away. 

 

Some values have intrinsic worth, such as love, truth, and freedom. Other values, such as ambition, responsibility, and courage, describe traits or behaviors that are instrumental as means to an end (Ethics Unwrapped, University of Texas at Austin).  Exploring one’s values is always helpful, although usually more significant at an important juncture in life; clearly defining one's values, standing on them, and using them for good is, in my mind, one of the best ways to help one’s self move forward in meaningful ways.  When I use this handout in sessions with patients, it usually takes the full session and generates thoughtful discussions and insightful conclusions for my patients about their inherent worth and character.  It's important to make sure that patient struggling with anxiety don't undermine their values when reviewing this

form with them.

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Click on the above text to download the handout for free.​​

Sleep hygiene is a funny phrase for a very important topic.  Most patients have poor to atrocious sleep habits and it's very important to address these right away in treatment. If you don't get a good nights sleep, you can't be your day.  Once people make progress in that area, it makes it big difference in terms of their day-to-day functioning and ability to participate in session, and follow through with treatment recommendations. 

 

Click on the above text to download the handout for free.

This is a handout of directions for the Anxiety Thought Pattern form

 

Click on the above text to download the handout for free.

As a therapist who specializes in working with people on anxiety, the number one thing that I am working with people on most of the time is emotional trauma.  In some ways, physical trauma is easier to contend with as it is more recognizable and accepted as traumatic, whereas emotional trauma tends to fly under the radar, and most of my patients are unaware of the fact that they are contending with significant emotional trauma from childhood.  People tend to minimize emotional trauma by telling themselves “It wasn't that big of a deal.” “Everybody has to deal with something.” “They didn't mean anything by it.” or ”Look at me I turned out just fine.” When, in fact, the underlying fundamental beliefs drawn from those experiences continue to run interference in their day-to-day lives.  The Majority of emotional trauma tends to come from poor parenting, which adds ambivalence and another layer of strife to the issues.  Helping patients understand the full implications of their emotional trauma serious issue and how to process it through journaling, treatment and the arts makes a huge difference in minimizing their anxiety and

depressed mood, both of which are the main manifestations of the fallout from trauma.

 

Click on above text to download handout for free.​​​

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About 10 years ago in my practice, I realized I was starting to see more patients presenting with perfectionism, which is not surprising considering we live in America the self proclaimed number one in the world in which you're either a winner or a loser.  This cultural mindset, trickles down from general society to our institutions, including schools, and to the parents and staff, and then  finally to the students who might be told that either you get into a great college or you will be homeless.  Most people are unaware there are 3 types of perfectionists, and a 3-D important to be able to recognize the different types within oneself and others.  other oriented perfectionist are the most challenging ones to deal with and people really need to be aware of these individuals especially if you have to work for one or are in a relationship with one.  It's very hard for perfectionists to buy into treatment because of all the benefits of their orientation of although ultimately the lifestyle is punishing to the individual

and often those around them.

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Click on the above text to download the handout for free.​​​

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The Couples Inventory can be used in a wide variety of ways to help people gain greater insight into their relationship dynamics, strengths and challenges to work on.  This form covers the eight main characteristics of a long-term relationship: money, parenthood, household, intimacy, communication, personhood, family and healthy lifestyle.  Each person scales where they see the relationship at, and then can scale themselves and their partners individually in terms of where they see each person is at in terms of their contributions to that category.  There are additional ways of using the form that I've outlined in the companion handout Using the Couples Inventory.

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Click on the above text to download the handout for free

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